Written by: Katie Hucks
From the time I was a little girl, I knew that my biggest dream was to one day be a wife and mother. My mom stayed home with my sister and I when we were young, and I loved every second of it! She was selflessly devoted to her family, and I knew one day I wanted to do the same for my husband and children. The problem with that “goal” however, is that there is no career path to becoming a wife. If you want to be a doctor, or a lawyer, or a teacher, there is a clear path you must follow to achieve that goal. Becoming a wife? Not so much.
I think this is a hard spot for a lot of women who long to be married. We feel as though we need to work and strive to find the godly husband we dream of. Or maybe we need to put ourselves in the right situations to meet godly guys. When I went to a Christian college, I thought surely I would find a husband there! But the Lord had other plans for me. For several months after I graduated from college, I spent a lot of time dreaming up ways I could meet “the one.” Maybe someone at work could set me up with their brother or cousin! Or maybe some super handsome guy would move to my town and start attending my church! Or maybe my car would break down on the side of the road and Prince Charming would come to my rescue!
After several months of this, I became mentally exhausted and a little disappointed. Of all the scenarios I had dreamed up in my head, not a single one had happened in real life. Finally, after attending a church meeting where I had been assured there would be “lots of good-looking godly guys,” and being let down once again, I decided something had to change. I felt like I was living my life in limbo, constantly making decisions based on where or when I might meet “the one.” After that meeting, I decided that I was going to focus my energy on being faithful to the Lord in the season I was in, not the season I wanted to be in. I was going to make decisions based on what he had called me to do, and what I knew to be true from his Word- not on my feelings or wishes or made-up scenarios.
I knew the Lord had called me to be a music teacher, so I focused on being the best music teacher I could be for Him. I knew that I needed to be invested in His kingdom through my local church, so I became even more involved in ministry and prayed for more opportunities to serve. I spent time reading my Bible and praying that God would make me more like Christ and less like me. I had a settled peace in my heart that God would bring the right person along in his time, and when He did, nothing I could do would mess it up or cause me to “miss” it. I continued to hope that God would grant me the desires of my heart in bringing me a husband, but I trusted that His will would be best for my life. I tried to fill my life with things that pleased Him, trying to better myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually, instead of focusing on the one thing I was “missing.”
About 6 months after I made that change, something unthinkable happened. My husband fell out of the sky- right into my life. Well not really, but that is how it felt! I was at home on a Friday night, spending time with my family. I had just gotten back from a trip to Williamsburg, VA with one of my best friends, when I got a text from Chassidy. I was immediately intrigued: she wanted to know if she could give my number to a guy! Of course I wanted to know who he was! Chassidy’s sister Molly was taking a class at our local technical college, and she had struck up a good friendship with her teacher, Mrs. Cathy. One day, Mrs. Cathy told Molly that she needed a good Christian girl for her son. (My now husband) Molly thought of me, and Chassidy texted me to see if I was interested. After she told me about this “guy” I was very interested! He sounded like exactly what I wanted, what I had dreamed of. Yet I never could have “dreamed up” the way we met- what God had in store was far better than anything I could have imagined, and I had nothing to do with it! God did not need me to find my husband; he brought him straight to me. That text message began our story in April of 2023, and in June of this year, we got married!
Psalm 90:12 says, “So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts to wisdom.” Each one of us has a finite number of days we will live on this earth before we breathe our last breath. God has a purpose for each and every one of your days- no matter your marriage status. The desire to be married and have children is a God-given desire. It is a good thing to want to be married! God made us to desire companionship, and he cares deeply about the concerns of His children. However, often as women, we can feel as if we are “waiting around” until we get married. Or perhaps that our life doesn’t really start until we become a wife. Dear sister, allow the truth of this verse to help you consider how you number your days. Are you living everyday in obedience to our Heavenly Father, trying your best to live out the calling He has for you? Are you involved in church ministry, serving the Body of Christ with the talents God has given you? Are you a hard-worker at your job? Do you strive to better yourself by learning skills you can use to serve others, and one day your future husband?
None of these things will magically bring you a husband, and I cannot tell you that yours will fall out of the sky like mine did. It is my prayer that by sharing my story you will be encouraged to know that you do not have to live your life in limbo. You also do not have to strive and worry and fret about trying to find the right man for you. Whether you are married or not, the best thing any of us can do is what we find in Psalm 90:12. Humbly ask the Lord to help you number your days, filling them with only the things He wants you to do, and trust that He will supply all your needs.